Where we are today…a family of 5.

I don't totally know where to begin this post so I'm just going to dive in.  For those that don't know, we have a new kiddo!  She has been in our home for 3 weeks now and is such a little love and a blessing.  It all started about 4 weeks ago…we were still waiting on a sibling set we thought we were getting but I heard of a little girl about Myla's age who needed a home and was kind of everything we said no to….

Actually…lets rewind even further…about a week before 4 weeks ago (so five weeks ago:) our great friends Kaitllyn and Justin Campbell were in town from southern CA with their son Jackson (one of the cutest kids you'll ever meet).  Their church has been going through a lot lately and we had some really great, really deep discussions about what we want our lives to look like and how we want to live radically and differently and want to make a difference in our world.  Andy and I have felt convicted about the way our world, particularly the San Ramon Valley solves problems; we feel like we (as in the greater we) just throw money at problems.  Kids need water in Africa?  Send money through World Vision.  Hurricane tore through homes?  Send money.  People in Mexico need a home but we don't have any more vacation time because it's all spent going on real vacations?  Send money.  Don't get me wrong…Andy and I support a child through World Vision and sending money is good and necessary etc., we just feel like we could be doing more, that maybe God calls everyone to do more (even though that might look different for everyone).  Kaitlyn got on this beautiful soapbox one night we were hanging out about radical living and what if God's intention for the church wasn't just to go to church on Sundays, hang out with each other in between, and send money off to people in need, what if it was so much more?  I couldn't help but leak a little bit (that's what my dad calls crying:) because I couldn't agree more.  No, I don't know what this looks like and no I don't know what it means for everyone.  For Andy and I, it meant saying yes more.  It meant saying yes when things were uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and didn't seem to make any sense.  Someone in my life that has exemplified this has been my Dad, from what I knew as a child, he always said yes!  Someone needs a home?  YES they can stay with us until they get on their feet.  Someone needs a job?  YES you can work for DVM if you work hard.  A week later, we were presented with an opportunity to say yes and a week after that, our lives were changed forever.

We said yes to a little girl with serious medical issues who had recently been removed from her biological family.  There were so many things about this that seemed irrational:  firstly, we have been using our agency all the way out in Modesto to avoid this exact situation, we didn't want to get involved until parental rights had been terminated so we would not bring a child into our home only to have them go back to their bio family, she did not meet this criteria.  Secondly, with her medical issues we are at the doctor Monday-Friday as well as at least one additional visit per week, in-patient stays at the hospital at least every 3 weeks, etc. which we didn't want to do, I always said, "I'm a nurse at work, I don't want to be one at home to."  Ha, I was wrong, I'm doing more medical procedures at home than I ever thought possible!  Despite these things and many more, we couldn't be happier about our decision to say yes.  It's messy, it's hard, I cry a lot, I haven't taken time off work because we're not sure if she's our "forever child" or not so I'm tired, we just take it day by day and work together as a family.  The Lord's blessings are amazing to see, the smile that she brings to our faces and those around us is unmeasurable.

As of yesterday, we're 3 weeks into being a family of 5 and the "newness" and excitement is over.  The girls (as in my bio kids) are over it, our newest addition is over it, she doesn't always like our house rules and it's a hard adjustment coming from where she came.  I got to a point last week where I felt like yeah, we're blessing this sweet little girl but are we totally messing up our bio kids?  Myla has regressed…she isn't talking like she used to talk, potty training is no longer an option, and she screams A LOT.  Avery is doing better than Myla but her sass (which she already had a lot of) has grown exponentially and she has outbursts unlike she had before.  I called my friend Crystal when I reached my breaking point who I met through this adoption process and who has (as of last Tuesday) officially adopted her sweet little girl Brooklyn and she gave me such wise advice, "it's hard now, but think of the amazing people we are helping them grow up to be".  Such amazing words…yes it is hard, Jesus never said it was going to be easy, but Avery and Myla are going to grow up knowing how to love people differently than those around them.  They're going to know how to love more like Jesus loved, when it was uncomfortable and hard and unpopular and people didn't get it.  They will be better people because of this time, whether we end up adopting this sweet little girl or not.

I know that this is somewhat of a vague update but because it's the internet we have to be careful:)  We covet your prayers during this time, specifically for Andy and I's strength and perseverance through all of these late nights, early mornings, continuing our jobs, Doctor's appointments, etc.  We also ask that you pray for Avery and Myla as they're adjusting to so much (they both started school this week which I think will help:).  And lastly pray for our newest addition; pray that the treatment she is going through heals her, pray that she doesn't get too sick in the meantime, and pray for her to have strength to make it through it all.  I look forward to the day when I can tell more of her story and post a picture, until then, thank  you for your support and prayers.