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Monday, September 28, 2015
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Yes, we'll still be adopting...
I think mostly people are afraid to ask, but there are a few who do. It goes something like, "I know you're going through a lot and I'm not sure if you've even thought about it, but are you guys going to try to adopt again?" I have three really simple words to tell you, YES WE ARE! What I want to say is "OF COURSE WE ARE!!!" Just because our hearts have been broken with Olaf doesn't change the statistics (which are now 3 years old) that there are over 100,000 children in foster care in CA alone. Sit with that for a minute. We don't call them orphans anymore, but over 100,000 children are without a forever home. Additionally, our pain doesn't change the fact that the bible talks about caring for widows and orphans multiple times (our personal favorite being James 1:27, look it up:). And lastly, maybe most importantly, it doesn't change the fact that we were called to this. I get that you don't all understand that, which is fine, just trust me on this one.
We were never promised it would be easy, we were never told to give up when it was tough, we're going to keep forging ahead and we can't wait to continue to grow our family. Now, don't get me wrong, we're grieving right now and we're not ready TODAY for another child, but make no mistake, we're jumping back into this whole adoption thing.
If you have an opinion on this, keep it to yourself. Quite frankly, we don't totally want to hear it. Our response would probably be something you wouldn't like, yeah...look out, mama is getting fiesty:)
Happy Weekend.
We were never promised it would be easy, we were never told to give up when it was tough, we're going to keep forging ahead and we can't wait to continue to grow our family. Now, don't get me wrong, we're grieving right now and we're not ready TODAY for another child, but make no mistake, we're jumping back into this whole adoption thing.
If you have an opinion on this, keep it to yourself. Quite frankly, we don't totally want to hear it. Our response would probably be something you wouldn't like, yeah...look out, mama is getting fiesty:)
Happy Weekend.
Party Info
We created an e-vite for Olaf's goodbye party...RSVP if you're able so we have an idea of how many people to expect, thank you for the love and support!
http://evite.me/sf79srQwKv
http://evite.me/sf79srQwKv
Thursday, September 3, 2015
A Good Goodbye
The time has come sweet friends and family...we have an official time frame that our sweet Olaf will no longer be living with us (in about a month). Oh my how it hurts my heart to say this! Having a date is bittersweet, I mean the end is inevitable and most of me wishes it happens sooner rather than later for the sake of everyone involved, but boy is it scary to think of going back to a family of 4.
It feels like each day is a battle, every day I'm making phone calls to doctor's offices, social workers, social worker's supervisors, make-a-wish, the list goes on and on. I'm drained, I'm tired, and I'm losing my battles. Losing so much that I begin to wonder why I'm fighting certain ones in the first place.
I recognize that this loss will be felt by our community, our family, our friends, our friend's friends and there is a part of Andy and I that feel responsible for this loss (yeah yeah, we need to see therapists...). We are all going to miss this sweet faced little girl. Her smile can light up a room, her laughter is contagious, and her heart is as sweet as one can be. For those out there that are feeling this loss, we want you to know we're grieving with you, we love you, and we appreciate you. We're not totally sure what our grief is going to look like because right now we're not focused on it, but let's all grieve together and support one another.
As I tell people the news, I am met with two types of reactions. One is anger followed by a myriad of questions about fighting it and statements like "this isn't fair." If you're in this category, I agree, it's not fair to me, it's not fair to my family, my community, and most importantly, not fair to Olaf (and for the record what I'm referring to here is the whole entire situation, everything that has/has not happened in the past year, not only the fact that she's going back to bio mom). With that being said, know that we have fought the battles we could fight, we've tried our very best to tell people about the unfairness of what has happened, but to no avail. So it's time we put it all behind us, accept it, and move on. The second type of reaction I get as people find out is pure sadness, tears even. It's happened a few times just in the last week and to you I say thank you. Thank you for loving Olaf enough to cry when you find out she will be leaving (I know not all of you are cryers and that's fine, I don't expect everyone to cry, I'm just sayin). Know that both Andy and I are feeling very emotional about the whole thing too and so we might not be able to comfort you the way you need at the time of your grief but know that we love you and appreciate you.
So...our lives, on top of just living life, look like trying to figure out how to have a "good goodbye". The child therapist that I've been in touch with says this is the most important part (no pressure at all;) Right now, we're planning a really big goodbye celebration/party. Everyone will be invited and it will be a huge party (probably bring your own dinner type celebration because of where we're at in life;) We'll let everyone know when it will be, we're waiting to see how court goes next week but the more the merrier. We're also planning on making her a photo book of all of the memories and fun times we've had as a family and with friends this past year. Lastly, we were thinking of letting each girl make a "build a bear" as their "olaf" stuffed animal so that when they miss her, they can go squeeze their bear. This is where you as the reader come in...any other thoughts? Do those sound like good ideas/bad ideas? We're very open to possibilities...
I don't want Olaf to go back. I hate that this has happened to my family. But the reality is, it has. So let's unite in supporting not only one-another as we all grieve this loss differently, but more importantly let's pray for Olaf's bio-Mom. Let's pray that she stays clean, that she can give Olaf what she needs, that she figures out a way to get her to Doctor's appointments, and that she doesn't go back to old habits. And most importantly, let's pray for Olaf. She will have lived with us a minimum of 14months by the time "the goodbye" happens. She will be confused, scared, happy, and sad. Pray for her little heart, pray that she will know we all love her.
It feels like each day is a battle, every day I'm making phone calls to doctor's offices, social workers, social worker's supervisors, make-a-wish, the list goes on and on. I'm drained, I'm tired, and I'm losing my battles. Losing so much that I begin to wonder why I'm fighting certain ones in the first place.
I recognize that this loss will be felt by our community, our family, our friends, our friend's friends and there is a part of Andy and I that feel responsible for this loss (yeah yeah, we need to see therapists...). We are all going to miss this sweet faced little girl. Her smile can light up a room, her laughter is contagious, and her heart is as sweet as one can be. For those out there that are feeling this loss, we want you to know we're grieving with you, we love you, and we appreciate you. We're not totally sure what our grief is going to look like because right now we're not focused on it, but let's all grieve together and support one another.
As I tell people the news, I am met with two types of reactions. One is anger followed by a myriad of questions about fighting it and statements like "this isn't fair." If you're in this category, I agree, it's not fair to me, it's not fair to my family, my community, and most importantly, not fair to Olaf (and for the record what I'm referring to here is the whole entire situation, everything that has/has not happened in the past year, not only the fact that she's going back to bio mom). With that being said, know that we have fought the battles we could fight, we've tried our very best to tell people about the unfairness of what has happened, but to no avail. So it's time we put it all behind us, accept it, and move on. The second type of reaction I get as people find out is pure sadness, tears even. It's happened a few times just in the last week and to you I say thank you. Thank you for loving Olaf enough to cry when you find out she will be leaving (I know not all of you are cryers and that's fine, I don't expect everyone to cry, I'm just sayin). Know that both Andy and I are feeling very emotional about the whole thing too and so we might not be able to comfort you the way you need at the time of your grief but know that we love you and appreciate you.
So...our lives, on top of just living life, look like trying to figure out how to have a "good goodbye". The child therapist that I've been in touch with says this is the most important part (no pressure at all;) Right now, we're planning a really big goodbye celebration/party. Everyone will be invited and it will be a huge party (probably bring your own dinner type celebration because of where we're at in life;) We'll let everyone know when it will be, we're waiting to see how court goes next week but the more the merrier. We're also planning on making her a photo book of all of the memories and fun times we've had as a family and with friends this past year. Lastly, we were thinking of letting each girl make a "build a bear" as their "olaf" stuffed animal so that when they miss her, they can go squeeze their bear. This is where you as the reader come in...any other thoughts? Do those sound like good ideas/bad ideas? We're very open to possibilities...
I don't want Olaf to go back. I hate that this has happened to my family. But the reality is, it has. So let's unite in supporting not only one-another as we all grieve this loss differently, but more importantly let's pray for Olaf's bio-Mom. Let's pray that she stays clean, that she can give Olaf what she needs, that she figures out a way to get her to Doctor's appointments, and that she doesn't go back to old habits. And most importantly, let's pray for Olaf. She will have lived with us a minimum of 14months by the time "the goodbye" happens. She will be confused, scared, happy, and sad. Pray for her little heart, pray that she will know we all love her.
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